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MERTON: BAD AND GOOD FRIEND
A little self-examinatory letter in which Merton writes to a friend, expressing his feelings about himself and friendship, both online and in the "real world."
_________________
Dear friend,
I really do not feel I am a very good friend in real life. My art hermitude, my general feeling that I must truly keep stress at a minimum (for my own health, balance, rest, peace, and survival... what with my problems with energy, nerves, mood swings, etc.) makes me a bad real world friend, I often feel. These aspects of myself make it imperative that I have a rather unusual and especially balanced, low stress life, a life that fits me and my artist personality, and my nerve/depression/stress prone self.
The above all interferes with my ability to "be there" for real world friends (who, if you do not say no, will constantly call for help with all sorts of things, bless their hearts). Since I have to say "no" to keep my life under control, balanced and rested (and have in general pulled away from friends for this reason) it is therefor nice to have friendship here on DA.
I try to be a good friend to those in the world in my own way, often taking time to help others with advice online, through my writing, with my (now greatly reduced) uplifting musical performing, and with varied and unusual teaching (which focuses on personal growth and the arts). I also send emails and call, touching base with friends and family, just to let them know that I care, think about them, and am sending good thoughts and prayers from my little art hermitage.
The above are all ways that I contribute to, stay in touch with, and help others in "the world." I do these things, rather than always driving folks places, rescuing them, wallpapering their kitchens, etc (which, I have found, friends often need and expect). One's life will be very quickly filled with such stress-inducing activity, if it becomes clear that you will provide it.
Maybe I am selfish and horrible. I sometimes feel that I am. Maybe I should be driving dear ones places, rescuing them, and wallpapering their kitchens. I have increasingly pulled away from such activities and made it clear that I am not available or able to provide this help. I simply cannot keep the level of peace, rest, balance, and consistency needed for my own health of mind, body and spirit, if I do. However, I do try in my own way to be supportive, as I have described above.
I am glad you feel I have not ignored you and that you have enjoyed and benefited from my comments on your page and works. Supporting and interacting with our fellow artists is one really good thing that art hermits can do, and still stay healthy, balanced, and rested.
I do like to feel helpful and useful...
Peace to my friend!
-Merton
A little self-examinatory letter in which Merton writes to a friend, expressing his feelings about himself and friendship, both online and in the "real world."
_________________
Dear friend,
I really do not feel I am a very good friend in real life. My art hermitude, my general feeling that I must truly keep stress at a minimum (for my own health, balance, rest, peace, and survival... what with my problems with energy, nerves, mood swings, etc.) makes me a bad real world friend, I often feel. These aspects of myself make it imperative that I have a rather unusual and especially balanced, low stress life, a life that fits me and my artist personality, and my nerve/depression/stress prone self.
The above all interferes with my ability to "be there" for real world friends (who, if you do not say no, will constantly call for help with all sorts of things, bless their hearts). Since I have to say "no" to keep my life under control, balanced and rested (and have in general pulled away from friends for this reason) it is therefor nice to have friendship here on DA.
I try to be a good friend to those in the world in my own way, often taking time to help others with advice online, through my writing, with my (now greatly reduced) uplifting musical performing, and with varied and unusual teaching (which focuses on personal growth and the arts). I also send emails and call, touching base with friends and family, just to let them know that I care, think about them, and am sending good thoughts and prayers from my little art hermitage.
The above are all ways that I contribute to, stay in touch with, and help others in "the world." I do these things, rather than always driving folks places, rescuing them, wallpapering their kitchens, etc (which, I have found, friends often need and expect). One's life will be very quickly filled with such stress-inducing activity, if it becomes clear that you will provide it.
Maybe I am selfish and horrible. I sometimes feel that I am. Maybe I should be driving dear ones places, rescuing them, and wallpapering their kitchens. I have increasingly pulled away from such activities and made it clear that I am not available or able to provide this help. I simply cannot keep the level of peace, rest, balance, and consistency needed for my own health of mind, body and spirit, if I do. However, I do try in my own way to be supportive, as I have described above.
I am glad you feel I have not ignored you and that you have enjoyed and benefited from my comments on your page and works. Supporting and interacting with our fellow artists is one really good thing that art hermits can do, and still stay healthy, balanced, and rested.
I do like to feel helpful and useful...
Peace to my friend!
-Merton
MERTON: BAD AND GOOD FRIEND
A little self-examinatory letter in which Merton writes to a friend, expressing his feelings about himself and friendship, both online and in the "real world."
A little self-examinatory letter in which Merton writes to a friend, expressing his feelings about himself and friendship, both online and in the "real world."
© 2010 - 2024 mertonparrish
Comments2
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wow great honest examination of issues of expectation and friendship -one iam struggling with this very minute having been let down by two friends on the eve of a very important occassion for me ..
i do get that a person like you has a sort of on line ministry you have encouraged me both personally and as an artist amd I appreciate it . maybe we just have to pay for the more practical help friends used to give each other befre the net and self actualisation !
i do get that a person like you has a sort of on line ministry you have encouraged me both personally and as an artist amd I appreciate it . maybe we just have to pay for the more practical help friends used to give each other befre the net and self actualisation !