literature

OPPOSITES ATTRACT, BUT SHOULD THEY?!?

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OPPOSITES ATTRACT… BUT SHOULD THEY?!?

In this letter to his siblings and parental units, Merton pulls the plan for a new life together, and communicates some of the final details… just to make sure all know that he is working on final minutia, seeing what he has learned, and hopes to be "OK."  There is more discussion of the new idea that Merton is contemplating, that our life partner should be a match.  Opposites attract, but "should they?" he wonders.  Merton is thinking, "maybe not!"  Thirteen years (sweet as they might have been, in many ways) is still a long time to struggle with great differences.

_________________________________


CC: S, K, J... obviously I have not let go of emailing just yet (so traveling musician/recluse Merton not quite put into effect, just yet, wink... getting there).  I guess I just want you all to understand what is going on, know where I am headed and that, hopefully, I am going to be ok...

Mom, Dad, brothers and sister,

I made the decision regarding when to teach students on the weekends (2-4 pm, with a program after), and just received D's approval.  Flyer goes out on Monday, and I will begin adjusting the student schedule and calling my current elder facilities next week.  Then I will call all I sent the mailer to.  The flyer does not mention the weekend performances, but I will write that on the back of each envelope and also put that forth in phone conversations.  Send prayers and good thoughts, lots of them; I need it.  It may take me a while to fill up the new schedule, but I will keep at the calls, adding students, adding student two hour "monster sessions" etc., till it is full.  I will pray daily about it, too, till God says, "OK kid, enough already, here's your full schedule!"  Wink.

I had a nice visit with Grammie and M after my T program yesterday.  I am, as I think I mentioned, going to continue to stop by Grammie's after my 7pm, fourth Friday program each month, and sit with her in her bedroom, as I have done in the past.  I used to stop by before the program, but others are often there, and I think that is too much for me right now.  I need to keep things very snug, small, low stress and consistent.  So, I am off on the "new life" building that is required.  It is going to be a strange combination of more out in the world (all the performing), and more pulled in/reclusive.  

Thank you again for all your help, I love you, and yes Mom and Dad taking me out to dinner sometime would be nice.  Maybe when things get a little more settled, maybe once I have rented the M studio.  I have heard from J that he will come visit me at the M (or Toad Hall as I dubbed it in my email response to him).   That sounds very nice, and if any of you want to come visit your eccentric recluse brother in his studio at the M (or the fancy piano room) that would be nice.  I plan not to go out into the world, really, other than when I must go out for programs or after a program).  I am sorry about the holidays. I just need to pull in, if I am going to keep myself together, and be able to do all that life is suddenly requiring of me.

I am sorry there has been so much turmoil and I have needed so much help from Mom and Dad.  Hopefully, this all will end up with a more self sufficient, ready for any eventuality, me.  I must put something in place which I can do, despite my limitations,  something that makes me ok and secure- and hopefully happy (not too sure about that one, but I am trying).  

I think the new studio at the M and the newest schedule/budget should accomplish that.  The life I am organizing is much more stressful and out in the world than is probably good for me (two programs a day is a lot for me), but, it is as close to the arthermit life that fits me as I can get.  There are elements of the arthermit life in it: the spread out seven day a week work, not too many things in one day, at least a little time alone with my muse, the extra rest and sleep I need (more than the average person, due to my nerve problems), the new studio where I can teach if teaching at home does not work, the pool/whirlpool at the M which calms me and is exercise I can deal with, the consistency of schedule (my life is the same each day, with a little room for rubics cubing things around). So, it just might work.  Hoping so.

I did just redo my schedule based upon the new student changes, and I included more realistic timing for shopping, chores, and seeing some friends or maybe a date or two each week (since M was concerned about such things).  I thought that a friend or potential boyfriend might go with me to my program on the weekend, then we could eat together at my place or once in a while eat out on the cheap, or do something free or very inexpensive (like a 1950s college "coke date"... the modern equivalent of which would be a small tea at Starbucks... I like Starbucks, bookstores, etc... and these are free or almost free, and I can knit or read).

If I am to have friends or a bf some day, I would like for them to sometimes go with me to my performances (so I hope for someone who likes the music and likes seeing me perform).  They should like things like coffee shops and bookstores... a natural match on such things would be good instead of having the struggle of different interests and personalities (as D and I have dealt with for many years).  Hopefully that makes sense.   I have put space for that in my newest version of my schedule.  

So, extending that, a good friend or bf for me would also be someone who enjoys questions and long conversations about life/art/philosophy/spirit, etc., likes the fact that I am "Mr. Fix it" and could help them with strategizing concerning their or our life, enjoys curiosity and is curious, loves the arts as I do, would like to attend my performances at least sometimes, naturally likes things such as books/study/discourse, seeks quiet activities like knitting, bookstores, coffee shops, etc. Not that I am not open to other interests, but I think I have learned that it is probably better for two people to just match up in terms of interests, temperment, personality, communication style, etc.  And, I do have a limited schedule that will work for me, so finding a night owl for a friend or boyfriend would be a good idea.  

I think I must, as I mentioned, always hang on to studio at the M, since I do not think I will have the wherewithall to recreate myself again, and must not use up my buffer.  I'm hoping to add to that buffer this year, before the M studio is rented.  With the self employment concerns, I need it to be as big as possible, always. I sent Mom and Dad my new budget, which I think is more realistic.  The other one would have possibly worked, but did not allow enough savings for a new car eventually, car repairs, etc.

Ok, just wanted to keep you up to date, since Mom and Dad have helped me so much, and I am sure that you, my brothers and sisters are wondering what in the heck is wrong with Merton?!?  

Love you all,
Merton
OPPOSITES ATTRACT… BUT SHOULD THEY?!?

In this letter to his siblings and parental units, Merton pulls the plan for a new life together, and communicates some of the final details… just to make sure all know that he is working on final minutia, seeing what he has learned, and hopes to be “OK.” There is more discussion of the new idea that Merton is contemplating, that our life partner should be a match. Opposites attract, but “should they?” he wonders. Merton is thinking, “maybe not!” Thirteen years (sweet as they might have been, in many ways) is still a long time to struggle with great differences.
© 2012 - 2024 mertonparrish
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ackapella's avatar
I think that finding a life partner is much more complicated than anything you could even begin to write about.