Indoor Color Photograph
Digital Camera
2012 Midlife Changes Photography Series
(c) 2012 Merton Parrish

Intro for this particular piece in the series:

We lost our dear baby in November of 2011. He was "the glue in our relationship" hubby and I always said. We loved him so, and it was very hard to lose him. We had nursed him for about a year and a half, before he lost his battle. We miss him so much.

Silly as it might sound, it is comforting that his ashes (in a soft, green velvet bag) are with us, atop the living room piano. We've made a little shrine (which you can see in the picture) consisting of our doggie's ashes, a paw print on paper, a chunk of sidewalk with his paw print (saved when our walk was redone), and a little statue.

So, adjusting to life without doggie is one of the big changes with which I am dealing, in this change-filled 2012.

Intro for this Series:

I am coming to think of this year (2012) as the year where nothing flows. It is the year where everything I have known (all sorts of things, big and little) threatens to fall apart, end, etc.,... if I do not shift and change (and do so in major ways, constantly). My midlife crisis continues (just when I thought it was finally over) and seems to be contagious. More about that below!

The year started with the NDAA being signed (and thus our freedom and very way of life being threatened). I continued to finish up my midlife crisis with its myriad health and aging concerns. And so, I felt that I personally was threatened, along with all Americans.

Then, I tried to record a daily recording, and technical concerns threatened to make that not possible. I thought, "Hmmm... what gives?"

Following that, my partner, D, went into his midlife crisis, we as a couple went into our couple midlife crisis, and my relationship was threatened (and seemed about to end). As if that were not enough, my teaching studio would not stay full this year due to the economy. And so, to top it all off, my bank account and financial solvency was under siege.

In an effort to stem the tide of all this, I am reactively and proactively going back to performing twice a week. This should help my finances, if I can manage the energy to accomplish this return to "the stage," or to be more accurate, the life (at least two evenings a week) of a traveling musician.

The performing changes and schedule changes needed to save my bank account and relationship with D threatened (and basically ended) my ability to create during the day. These also ended the daily recording, for the most part.

I need to perform, and my truck is needed as a back up vehicle. Unfortunately the "old girl" is having all sorts of engine problems. I must start her every day and take her out on weekends to keep her driveable. Will my truck function or continue to cause all sorts of technical difficulties, like my computer equipment did when I tried to record?

All sorts of changes and adjustments to schedule, relationship and way of life have been happening, non-stop, since day one of this year. I can barely catch my breath. I keep adjusting, adjusting, adjusting... changing, changing, changing.

I hope I can keep this up. The Universe is trying to tell me something about me and the world, I think. Life is change? Nothing is permanent? Big stuff is coming, so get ready for it (because that "change/adjust" skill is going to be needed a lot soon?). Hmmmm. Gads.

Here are some photographs (the good ones, anyway... some did not turn out... argg) to document this 2012 year of nothing flowing and everything threatening to fall apart. I shall call this grouping of photos my "2012 Midlife Changes Photography Series." Perhaps I will add to it, retaking some of the photos that did not work out.

The photos I did select are some arty little pieces to document changes in our house... a general thinning out of stuff, art, etc., and a delineation of "my space" and "hubby's space" (in an attempt to smooth feathers, address changes in us, individually and as a couple).

Hopefully all will be well. I have called our home "The House of Many Studios" in the past (in essays and photographs). It still is to a great degree, but it is a bit less so, to please hubby. It was probably good for me and for us to have a reorganization, a thinning out, a choosing of the best and nicest works of art, plus a goal of my space, hubby's space, our space, and studio space... with some compromise and restraint.

Relationships (with self, God, the world, hubbys... we have all sorts of them) are about compromise, communication, change, growth, clarity, etc.

Something is up, I think, in the world, my world, and my little corner of the planet that I share with hubby. I am responding to whatever it is that is this strange 2012 energy. Not sure that it's gonna be earth quakes, rising seas, polar shifts, alien landings and all that stuff (could be, who knows?!), but I do think that there is definitely this strange "nothing flows" "constant change and adjustment is required" sort of charge in the air.

I do feel as if I am being prepared for something. What that is I do not know. It all started back about four or five years ago with my strange, artisty, aging and health related, "shall I become a hermit?" midlife crisis. I had a premonition then that something big was up for me, for the world, or both, at that time. Now, just when I thought I was finishing that up, here is this weird roller coaster year.

If things do continue this way, I would say, "Hold on to your seats... it might just be a bumpy ride!" Hmmmmm...

-Merton